i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
