Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
