and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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