Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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