Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
