please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
