That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
