note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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