oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
We left the knife in your bed.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
