In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
