No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
