this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
