i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize
