that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
