we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
