not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
