Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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