this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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