I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
