decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
