I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
