ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
