Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
