try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
