The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
