My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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