I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
sex in a hospital.. check
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
