I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
