life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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