If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
