i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
