I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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