can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Randomize
