'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize
