I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
