did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
