The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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