AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Randomize
