Your dad touched me again.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
