He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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