real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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