do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
