if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
