There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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