You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
