i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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