i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
