Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
