yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
nutella sex= disaster
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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