At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
