i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize