no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
