Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
