census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
