Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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