We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
