Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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