Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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