I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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