you turned your livingroom into a bong?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
