I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
