I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize