so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
