Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize