yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
